The picture of parenting today is different from the one we saw twenty or so years ago. Today, moms have access to so much information on the internet. And this is a great thing! It only takes one tap to know the answer to any parenting question and connect with new friends and like-minded people.
But while you may have access to anything through the internet, the opposite is also true. Your social media followers can see everything in your personal life, including your family life. This is why it’s challenging to keep your parenting choices to yourself. This is why many moms are pressured to fit in.
As if being a mom is not stressful enough.
Social Media and The Perfect Mom
There is nothing worse than unsolicited pieces of parenting advice, but they are all so freely given on social media. Your posted photos are often taken as an invitation to say something about your choices. Breastfeeding? Formula feeding? Gave birth via C-section? It seems like everyone has a lot to say about how wrong you were.
It’s no wonder why many moms are under a lot of pressure to create an image that they think is acceptable. The Pinterest mom, the Instagram mom, the domestic diva, the career woman… all picture perfect.
But there is no perfect mom. Every mom who loves her children to death is a supermom in her own right.
You see, it is one thing to strive to become the best version of yourself. But it is a completely different thing to put up a social media persona for everyone else’s approval. At the end of the day, the only approval you need is your family’s.
Raising a family is a challenge, but it does not need to be this complicated. You don’t have to get yourself stuck in a lifestyle of conforming to what is fashionable. You don’t have to lose yourself to become a good mom!
If you are also feeling the pressure to become the perfect mom, here are some things that you can do.
5 Things to Do to Cope with the Pressures of Being a Mom Today
1. Spend more time outside social media.
The best thing you can do to stop being pressured on social media... is to spend less time on it. Honestly, this might be easier said than done. But if you take the time to train yourself to not check your social media profiles so often, you will gradually get used to this new habit.
If you need help getting started, you can try putting your phone away during the day. If you need to use the computer, you can download apps that limit your social media usage. You can also have your partner or a friend remind you of your new goal. There are more things to life than social media, don’t forget that!
2. Set your profile’s privacy limits.
Social media is not bad. The lovely thing about social media, for example, is that it connects you to family and friends who live far away. Another benefit is how you are able to track your children’s milestones and document your family’s memories. There are many great reasons to have a social media account.
Unfortunately, not every person you meet on social media is well-meaning. By all means, continue to post your baby’s pictures and document special occasions. But do it for the people who care about you and your family. Set privacy limits on your account, don’t add people you don’t know, and keep the nosy neighbors out.
3. Don’t focus on people who seem to have it better.
Comparison is the thief of joy. With social media, it is incredibly easy to follow another person’s life and be caught up in comparing their progress against ours. So what if their babies talked early? So what if they potty trained before 1? We have different timelines, and raising babies is not a competition.
To avoid finding yourself in the trap of comparison, you can simply unfollow the people who make you feel bad about yourself. But the better thing to do is to be happy about their life and to stop worrying about yours. If your children are healthy and loved, then you are doing just fine.
4. Go back to the basics.
This is a different world that we are living in, but your life does not have to revolve around technology and the internet. Go for a walk and take in the wonders of nature. Experiment in the kitchen and try new recipes – you just might be a whisk away from a new family favorite.
Read the books that you have always planned on reading. Actually use your phone for its intended use: calling! Reach out to friends and family that you haven’t spoken to in a while. In the time of social media, be truly social and build relationships… and yourself.
5. Prioritize your family over everything else.
Take a good look at your little unit of society: your family. Set your eyes on the amazing children you have made. If you prioritize your family over everything else, then you won’t have time for meaningless things. You won’t be tempted to look at another mom’s backyard because all you see is yours.
Spend afternoons cuddling with your baby in soft sheets and blankets. Play with simple toys, read classic books, listen to soothing lullabies. You will see that spending time with the most special people in your life is far better than pleasing people you don’t really know.
Social media has allowed us to connect to other people in seconds. It will be so much better if we use this power to build each other up. The vlogger mom who bakes the best cakes? She is a cool mom, but she has flaws, too. The hands-on mom who exclusively breastfeeds and uses cloth diapers? She is trying her best, just like you.
There is no perfect mom, no matter what the internet dictates. But there are plenty of good moms – just like you – doing their best to raise good kids in the time of social media.